Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Pitch

While walking to work wearing my hoodie the other day I came up with what I consider a genius pitch for a short film. The film is a short piece titled "Chav Cam" and follows a young chav on his journey through an averagely chavvy day. The film would be filmed from a 1st person perspective with the sides of a hoodie / baseball cap peak in view on camera at all times.

A picture showing costume ideas for the film

Obviously due to its huge marketing potential I don't want to give too much away, but below is a short extract from the first draft of the screenplay. Unfortunately during my background research I discovered a website containing a passage which follows the very same idea. In fact, the mofos even have a very appropriate domain name registered and a website surrounding the passage. I would like to say that I was unaware that this site existed when I had my idea and that I have not taken any content from this site into my work. The basis of their whole site is just a small part of my masterplan, plus I'm straight gangsta and from the streets of Chatham - nuffink can take that away from me!

Yes, you are a chav. Well done!

Choose chav. Choose the dole. Choose to shop in Primark. Choose a fucking big sovereign. Choose Kappa slappers, Burberry, trackie dags and tastelessly modified cars. Choose Maccy D’s, Lambert & Butler, and Smirnoff Ice. Choose loitering in shopping centres. Choose a street corner. Choose your ASBO mates. Choose hoodies and baseball caps. Choose a six-piece moving clown necklace on a week by week credit plan. Choose spending your child benefits in Oxfam so you can still afford some White Lighting to drink in the park later. Choose underage sex, teenage pregnancy and providing pikeys with a social underclass. Choose rotting away in the same place you were born, still gawping at the scantily clad girls with council-flat face lifts as you walk your pit-bull round the park and try to remember exactly how many kids you managed to have.

Choose no future.

Choose chav.

1 comment:

Pete said...

This is definitely workable. Will require a few items from Pound Stretcher!
A handheld digital camcorder would suffice (as long as it has a few light adjustment gadgets and a tripod would be useful).
The hardest part will be getting some peeps to dress up like pikey cunts.