The Fibbies

A article on CNN today reports how thousands of FBI agents in America do not have access to email. Personally I find this quite shocking and thought there would be no way anyone could try and justify it. Obviously I was wrong and the FBI have tried with their main argument being "We just don't have the money".

Senator Charles Schumer stirred things up with a typically American attitude and immediately related the issue to terrorism saying "The FBI should have the tools it needs to fight terrorism and crime in the 21st century, most of all in New York City, and one of the most effective means of communications is e-mail and the Internet. FBI agents not having e-mail or Internet access is much too much a pre-9/11 mentality."

I was going to write my opinion on the matter but having read a few forums and message boards I found some much better points than the ones I was going to make, so here they are

"So let me get this straight, $9 billion goes missing in Iraq, the war has cost US taxpayers about $250 billion so far, oil companies have record profit$, our national debt ceiling was raised to $9 trillion and we can't afford to supply email to the FBI? What is going on? And, does anyone even care?"

"A pre-9/11 mentality?? Funny, I thought it was a pre-1995 mentality."

"In a world where secrecy is necessary, what you whisper goes unrecorded, but what you put in an email gets published just when you need it to never have been written down....With record keeping comes accountability... is it any wonder they don't write things down?"

"Why would they need their own email when they have access to everybody else's?"

The Fairest Sentence?

A story in the press today tells of an Afghan man being tried in court for converting religion from Islam to Christian. The guy in question was an aid worker in Pakistan when he converted sixteen years ago, and had quite happily been living as a Christian until his family grassed him up during a custody battle over his children.

If the idea of being tried for changing your religion is not crazy enough, the penalty this bloke is facing is....erm...death. Well that seems fair right?!? I don't want to seem against Islam or start any riots outside Bradfields' Brain HQ with hundreds of people shouting for my blood but seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?? You don't agree with what we think so we're going to kill you. What a great idea that is. How does the Islaamic faith ever expect to be seen as anything other than extremist when events like this are supported and allowed to take place under Sharia law?

There is one good thing to come out of this event however, that being that we now know what the guy the Yanks put in charge of Afghanistan is really like. President Hamid Karzai apparently reckons there isn't much he can do about the situation despite the fact that he is the president. Could that be because he's too busy setting up gas pipelines and making sure The Chimp gets richer perhaps??

So, President Bush is a Christian and wants to get rid of the evil Taleban who don't like Christians. He sends his Jesus army to Afghanistan where they take pleasure in killing lots of people and then he puts a guy in charge who doesn't seem to care about stopping people who want to kill Christians. What a plan, what a man - if God tells The Chimp what to do then next time the election comes round I'm rooting for the guy supported by Satan.

Jesus He knows me, and He knows I'm right!

The Blindly Driven Army

A little tired and after a couple of beers I feel a little shit about the world. A couple of conversations about my holiday in Malaysia haven't helped and despite the fact that I only have four working days left until another holiday, all that doesn't seem enough right now.

My problem is the general attitude towards life in this country. Exactly what do we push ourselves for? Why do we work longer hours than most other parts of Europe and yet come out with a lower standard of living in a lot of cases? Why do we put up with getting constantly butt fucked by our government and not give a shit when we see Tony Blair's smug rich face on the TV taking the piss out of us all by kissing The Chimps arse when we, the public, would rather he didn't? We're supposed to be one of most democratic nations on Earth yet we're turning into the Yanks, absorbing TV and watching our lives pass by in a little bubble while we dream of winning the Euromillions or becoming the next non-celebrity to win Celebrity Big Brother. Fuck!

I guess what I'm saying is that we need to change the way we live on the whole before we all hit sixty and realise we've wasted our fucking lives. Look at the French, ok they smell of onions but they get out for two hours every day and have lunch with their friends. When was the last time most of you stopped for ten minutes?

So stop, think, is this really what you want to be doing?? And if it isn't, why are you doing it?!?

The Healers

This topic was decided upon about six months ago over a couple of rather disappointing drinks in the local beer distribution establishment. It was a bitterly cold evening for the time of year and the Kronenbourg was as flat as a female body builder which led to us having to drink Becks. Tempers were fraid, pressure was on to be outgoing and perhaps slightly controversial in an attempt to liven up the evening and so, on a whim, I muttered some words which it is now time to explain - "The NHS is complete bollocks!"

I am sure that I'm not alone in my opinion of the NHS, public belief in it has certainly declined over the last ten years and when it comes to opinion polls the figures certainly don't lie. But not too long ago the stories you heard were of long waiting lists for major operations, or a tale about your mate Dave, who had one of his eyes removed by an angry squirrel, yet still had to sit in the waiting room for ten hours despite bleeding profusely on the floor in an attempt to get some attention. Nowadays the focus has switched and the fact that you're more likely to contract a deadly disease while sitting in a hospital than bathing in raw sewage seems to be what's on people's minds. I wonder why!!

Have you seen this squirrel? If so, call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111

"Shenanigans", I hear you shout, "this is just the tabloid press compressed into blog form. There isn't any real evidence" - lets see if these facts and figures can change your mind.

• The NHS spends more in a year on fresh needles for syringes than Jonny Vegas does on Guinness. Are you telling me that some people can't share?
• Cutbacks have led to many doctors being forced to use two cans and a piece of string instead of a stethoscope.
• One in five patients will sit in A & E for at least three days before treatment is offered.
• 17% of patients are malnourished when they enter hospital and obese when they leave due to the poor standard of the food. Even McDonalds is rumoured to be better quality.
• 85% of nurses think they should be better paid by the government. Poor pay = poor motivation = poor healthcare.
• 15% of nurses cannot think.

All pretty scary stuff huh. I hope you've learnt something today, remember that the next time someone tells you that the NHS is a fine national institution, you can tell them that you know better!

The Final Voyage?

One week from today I will be making what could be my last smoker's trip to Amsterdam. For the last five or so years I have been lucky enough to visit the motherland of the herb and get suitably off my face for a few days. However, those damn beaurocrats are up to there old tricks again and support is growing within Dutch government to cut down on the so called "drug tourism" and restrict access to coffeeshops to Dutch citizens only.

Most of this has come about because of pressure from the hippy Germans. They're getting upset because the teenage generation are heading toward Dutch villages close to the border to get wasted and then try to carry drugs back over the border. The sausage eaters are seriously getting on their high horse about the whole thing obviously not realising, like pretty much every other government on planet Earth, that going to a shop to buy your drugs is a damn sight safer than the alternative of buying from that dodgy bloke Barry you met in the pub last week. Kids are going to get drugs if they want them bad enough....FACT.

So, here is my appeal to the Dutch government (several members are regular readers of my blog of course) - Don't be fools. Before any rash decisions are taken think about the good that cannabis taxation does from your country, and where your country would be without it. Look at the fact that a smaller percentage of your 18-25 year olds partake in social drugs than ours in the UK, you aren't keeping anything from your people so why do they need to rush out and try it. It can't be all that if it's legal right?!?

I love Holland for its people's laid back attitude towards life and its liberal viewpoints, for its coffeeshops and smart shops. I don't love Holland for its food, sights and weather. Without your "drug tourism", tourism isn't really going to exist at all.

Do the right thing, keep the weed!